Dawn of the Fangirls
by Teh Spazztastic Lime
Summary: I had a dream I was in the Dark Tournament with Al from FMA as my team mate and I fought against Sephiroth who threw hockey pucks at me. Then I thought it would be cool to write a zombieish fangirl vs bishies story.
1. Unfamiliar Surroundings

"I think it's the green one."

"Are you sure it's the green one?"

"No, not 100. But I think it probably is."

"Are you SURE it's the green one?"

"I _just said _I'm not fucking sure, it's just what I think."

Two figures were bent over a complicated-looking tangle of wires in the back of a futuristic looking machine ( Yes, yes, I know it's a sucky description, but bear with me here). One of them was wearing a welding mask and clutching a "Mechanics For Dummies" book. The other figure was leaning over the first, carefully examining the nest of wires, a welding flame in hand. The figure with the mask nervously eyed the many wires on the table, then stared helplessly at the figure with the welding flame. The figure sighed irritably and shoved the flame into the hand not holding the book. "Oh for Christ sakes, you're so fucking indecisive Paige." Paige immediately began kneeling on the floor, shrieking. "Eeeeeeeeee, eeeeeeeeee, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"

"PAIGE, SHUT UP AND FIX THE DAMN WIRE!"

"Ok...I'm cool...it's all cool. Alright..." Paige carefully connected the two broken ends of a long green wire the other figure had pointed out. The two of them stared at the wire. The other figure sighed, and turned the flame on. Paige stood bend over the wire for a few seconds before standing up with a triumphant grin on her face. "I fixed the wire!" she cried happily. The figure did not respond, as it was intently looking at the screen of the futuristic device, which had come to life as soon as Paige and repaired the wire. Paige went over to the speaker and leaned her ear against it. She could very faintly hear the audio coming from it, and it was soon apparent from the look on her face that she did not like at all what she was hearing. "Danya...are these on The List?" Danya turned toward Paige slowly, then suddenly rushed toward the speaker. The audio was getting a little louder now, and she could easily recognize the various dialog coming from it.

"It's good to see you, Cloud."

"Wait! I sense a jewel shard coming this way!"

"DON'T CALL ME A SHRIMP!"

"Nooooo, I don't wanna go to the same school as that damn rat!"

The screen on the device was suddenly flooded with white light, and the speaker became silent. The girls looked at each other in long silence. Danya turned off the speaker and slowly slid down the wall so that she was sitting on the floor. Paige stared at her a moment longer before saying accusingly, "You said it was the green one."

Cloud raised his sword for an attack, but a blinding white light suddenly blocked his vison. He froze, straining to see his opponent. But Sephiroth was not concentrating on him. He was staring at the source of the light with a look of bewilderment on his face. Cloud followed his gaze, not believing what he was seeing. The very air around them seemed to be ripping apart and disintegrating, revealing many large dark objects that he couldn't quite make out in the brightness. The light was slowly becoming more intense each passing moment. Cloud buried his head in his arms, shielding his eyes. It then came to his attention that the ground beneath his feet seemed to have changed completely. He could also sense that the air had gotten considerably warmer. He slowly raised his head, looking around him in shock. The entire terrain had changed. Midgar had completely disappeared. In its place stood and empty street with houses spawning in every direction. Cloud stood staring at this unexpected turn of events for quite some time before remembering Sephiroth. He whirled around, quickly swiping his hand near the ground and retrieving his...stick? The dried out branch that had mysteriously taken the place of his sword immediately snapped in half in his hand. With no way to fight or to defend himself, he looked up at Sephiroth in growing horror, trying to find a way to retreat. But it seemed that Sephiroth was in the same predicament. He stood blinking at his hands, which until recently had been wielding his sword, but now were clutching thin air. He turned toward Cloud, a sadistic smile replacing the look of confusion. "So, what's this you've conjured up, hm?"

"I didn't have anything to do with it!" Cloud snapped at him. Before either of them could say anything else, a scream girlish glee rang out from behind them. They whirled around in alarm to find themselves facing a large cluster of teenage girls. It only took a glance to know that something was very wrong with them. Their arms and necks were covered in red infected-looking claw marks. Their eyes held an unhealthy glow. Foam flew in little specs from their mouths as they forcefully exhaled each breath. A small freckle-faced girl with shoulder length brown hair slowly pointed at them and let forth a terrible cry: "HOMGZ, ITS SEPHIROTH!1ONEONE11!"

"You bastard!" InuYasha screamed. He charged at his older brother in blind rage. Before he could attack however, Sesshomaru easily leaped behind him and lifted him up by his throat. He slowly raised his hand for a killing blow. "No! InuYasha! INUYASHA!" Kagome screamed. Then, quite abruptly, InuYasha found himself lying face down on the ground. He could sense some sort of change going on around him, but he was too busy gasping for breath to care. He glared up at his brother, but stopped short at the scene before him. Instead of forest, he was looking at what appeared to be black, frozen soil (its pavement, but he doesn't know what that is : D) leading up to a large, strange looking house. He stole a glance at his brother, who seemed to have no more idea of what was going on than he did. Sesshomaru quickly dismissed these strange surroundings and flexed his fingers. "Lets continue this, shall we?" he stated matter-of-factly. He aimed a poison attack and the same moment InuYasha screamed 'Iron Reaver Soul Stealer!" Nothing happened. Both brothers stared at their hands in disbelief. InuYasha immediately started panicking. "What the hell? Iron Reaver Soul Stealer! IRON REAVER SOUL STEALER!" "You're not going to get your powers back by screaming," an irritated voice said behind them. A young, olive-skinned girl was slowly approaching them, coming from the direction of the house. From the distance, it was difficult to guess her age, but she looked around 13-16. She was wearing a plain short-sleeved black shirt and a pair of jeans that were too long for her, with the hems trailing on the ground. She was tying her long brown hair back in a ponytail as she walked toward them, the tips of which appearing to have been dyed purple at closer examination. InuYasha glared at the girl with apparent distrust. "Who the hell are you! You had better start giving me answers before I decided to break a few bones for you!"

"Brother, this human is useless to us. Let us be rid of this insignificant pest." Sesshomaru raised his claws and dramatically flexed them in the girl's direction. Again, the poison attack neglected to work. Sesshomaru blinked as the loss of his demon powers slowly began to dawn on him. "We done yet?" the girl asked angrily "Look, I understand you're probably completely freaked out right now, and maybe if you stop being total assholes, I'll explain everything to you and help you get home." "Oh yeah, and why the hell should we trust you?" InuYasha demanded. The girl opened her mouth to reply, but was immediately cut off by a girlish scream: "H0MGZ, ITS SEPHIR0TH!1ONEONE11!" The girl's expression remained unchanged, but her tone had lost it's anger and had been replaced with fear and urgency. "Get in the house. Now."


	2. First Strike

"Get in the house. Now." "Wh...wha...what the hell was that?", InuYasha stammered. A burst of static suddenly burst from the girls pocket. Temporarily ignoring him, she pulled out a small radio transmitter and spoke into it. "Whoever it is, get your ass here now, we have a Flock - X situ-"

"DANYA WHAT THE HELL DID YOU AND PAIGE DO TO THAT DAMN MACHINE!" A very loud and very angry voice exploded in the girls ear, and she immediately jerked the radio at arms length. She hesitated for a few seconds, and then spoke tentatively into it. "Kayla, um, I'm really sorry, but we have a-"

"I JUST PICKED UP TWO MORE OF THESE MORONS, AND I HAD TO KNOCK OUT ONE OF THEM BECAUSE HE KEPT TRYING TH ATTACK ME, SO NOW I HAVE TO DRAG THIS GUY AND SOME SHRIMP - "

"**I'M NOT A SHRIMP!"**, an angry male voice exclaimed.

"Danya said it was the green one," a quiet voice interrupted.

The girl, or Danya apparently, seemed to have had enough.

"PAIGE, SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU AND KAYLA COME AND HELP ME NOW, WE HAVE A CODE FLOCK FUCKING X!" For awhile there was nothing but silence. Then Kayla's voice said begrudgingly, 'Goddamn it, fine. I'll go get the pocky. Are there any-"

"Uh, Danya? What did the flock happen to say?"

"Goddamn it Paige, you know Jess is the only one who knows noobenese."

"Well, um, I think I see a flock on Otono Circle, and they're attacking these two guys."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Alright, I'm the one closest to Otono, so I'll go set up a distraction at McCrea. Danya, I'm sending these two idiots to you. Paige, come with me and bring backup."

"Alright," Danya said, and pocketed the radio. Sesshomaru and InuYasha glared at her for some time before one of them finally spoke. "You. Girl. What is this place and how do we get back?" Sesshomaru asked coolly. Danya sighed. "Wait until the others get here. Then I'll explain everything."

Neither Cloud nor Sephiroth could have possibly guessed that they would be forced to work together to escape from a flock of deranged, foaming teenage girls. Without aid of their weapons, they had tried to fend them off, but they were not prepared for the plans the girls had in store for them. At first they had just screamed some unintelligible nonsense such as "HOMGZ, ITS SEPHIROTH!1ONEONE!" and "CLOUD i LUV U!111". Then, without warning, they had charged at the pair with terrible speed and had attempted latched themselves onto every square inch of them. They thought it wouldn't be that big of a deal fighting them off, but the girls seemed determined to have their way. It was then the two realized with extreme horror and WTFness that the girls were not only hanging on to them, but were violently trying to remove their clothes. Most of their strength had mysteriously drained, and more girls were jumping on them every passing moment. Their fate seemed inevitable. But then an enormous pick-up truck came rolling down a nearby hill, carrying hundreds of small brightly-colored packages. The girls had stopped their clamor to stare at the truck, and Cloud and Sephiroth took this opportunity to free themselves. The girls surged forward at the truck all at once, screaming in unison: "HOMGZ, POCKY!111ONE" Cloud and Sephiroth looked up at each other, not wanting to believe they were trapped in a world where they had no means of defense against crowds of rabid fan girls who tried to steal their clothing (and had, for the most part, succeeded). Suddenly, a tall, muscular girl came running around the corner. Her long, blonde hair was hanging in her face as she leaned against a sign that told them that they were in the Otono Circle. She was wearing army surplus pants and a large denim black coat that no normal human being would wear in weather above 2o degrees. She looked up and glared at them. "Damn, how many people did those two idiots bring over here?" she mumbled to herself. "Ok, you two, come with me, the pocky won't hold those girls for long." To prove her point, another girl, this one with shorter blonde hair and wearing jeans and a pink T-shirt, cam running up the hill with the crown of fan girls at her heels. "Kayla, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I tried not to let them see me!"

"OH SHIT SON OF A BITCH RUN!" Kayla screamed in one breath. None of them needed further prompting."


	3. Run Away!

"Just come down from there!"

"Hell no."

"Why not!"

"Because your brother is a fucking psycho."

"Don't tell me you're too afraid to fight him!"

"Why the hell would I want to fight him? Even without his demon powers, he outweighs me by like 140 pounds." Danya explained as she clung to the tree branch. Sesshomaru, tiring of the situation, had wandered over to the house and was examining it as InuYasha tried to get her to climb down from the tree. "Look, he's over there now, he's not going to try and strangle you again."

"I'm cool up here, thanks."

"Is there a problem here?", someone injected. Danya and InuYasha turned to see a rather short blonde boy of about 15. "What! What kind of description is that!" Edward Elric yelled. "Dude, everyone knows what you look like already." Danya explained. "Well, YOU have a description, and so does Kayla and Paige!" Ed argued. "That's because the reader doesn't know what we look like, Sherlock."

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Hey. Do you want me to make you the first fan girl victim?"

"NOOO! Anything but that!"

"So there's going to be fan girl victims, huh? Spoiler much?" Sesshomaru called back at them.

"Look, I'm the writer damn it, and I don't feel like doing another description, and if you want to bitch about it, I'll have you two abducted by mind-controlling Yaoi fans!"

"...please accept my humblest apologies." Ed mumbled. "Uh, some girl told me to come here. She said that you could help me get home. And she made me bring this creep too," Ed said disgustedly, and heaved an unconscious Envy off his shoulders. "Damn. Kayla really did knock him out," Danya stated, peering and him. "What's that noise?" InuYasha said abruptly. Everyone stopped talking. The sound of a screaming crowd was steadily coming toward them. Danya slowly climbed down from the tree to investigate. Suddenly, Kayla and Paige came running toward them, followed by Cloud and Sephiroth, all of them screaming bloody murder. "Oh hell." Danya said in a low voice "Oh hell no." A moment later, her worst fears were confirmed. The flock of fan girls, now nearly doubled in size, came speeding toward them, their bodies swallowing up the pavement like a rabid wave. "OMG, OMG, EDS SO S3xY11ONE!"

"1NUYSH ISH MY MNHORE!11!"

"MrrY M3, SESSHY!"

Kayla grabbed Envy and ran for her life. By now, even Sesshomaru and InuYasha were startled enough to be running for safety. Paige reached the door first. She flung it open so hard that it rebounded on its hinges before being violently banged open again as the rest of the group came screaming into the house. Kayla, lagging behind because of Envy, was looking back at the flock with an expression of terror. Envy chose this very convenient moment to wake up. "What the he-," he began, but stopped at the sight of the gleaming-eyed, foaming, and screaming monstrosities pursuing him. "WHAT THE FUCK!" Envy exclaimed, starting to struggle frantically. Kayla, figuring he could run on is own, dropped him and ran ahead. "They're catching up! KAYLA THEY'RE CATCHING UP!" Paige screamed. "OH NO SHIT SHERLOCK, YOU THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE!" Kayla yelled as she sped into the house. Envy, still a little dizzy from being knocked out, stumbled on the steps leading up to the house. He lay on the ground frozen with fear, staring with horror-struck eyes at the approaching flock. A hand shot out and pulled him into the house, while Danya slammed the door shut, just a fan girl reached her hand in the doorway. There was a sickening crunch as the door slammed on her hand, breaking her wrist. More hands began to reach though the crack in the doorway, waving frantically in search of their prey. "Help me, they're coming through!" Danya yelled in panic. Cloud and Paige ran forward, fighting off the hands and shoving the door forward. Finally, the girl with the broken wrist withdrew her hand, and they were able to close and lock the door. The fan girls let out an angry cry and began pounding on the house. "You can relax, they'll never get through there," Danya assured them, gasping for breath. "We installed a sort of electric thing on it, look." She flipped a switch next to the door. There were screams of pain as the girls in contact with the door received a nasty shock. "So. Now that we're safe, I think we deserve to know what the hell is going on," Ed demanded. There were murmurs of agreement from the rest of the boys. Danya sighed. "Yeah. All right. Let's go in the living room. There are two more of you there. Kayla, can you go get Jess?"

"Yeah, okay," Kayla said, walking up a staircase. The rest of them advanced toward the living room, where two boys were yelling at each other. "Use your head, you stupid cat. You know we can't fight them off if we go outside."

"What was that, you damn rat! Don't tell me you're scared of a couple of girls?" "It's more than just a couple of girls, Kyo," Danya said entering the room. "Oh, you're back already?", Yuki asked. "Yeah, well, we kinda ran into a problem," Paige explained. Kyo made a 'tch' noise and stretched out on a nearby couch. "And who the hell are they?" he asked, jabbing his thumb at the rest of the boys. "Heya, I see ya finally found them all!" a cheery voice exclaimed. Kayla entered the room, followed by a girl who was presumably Jess. She was wearing a light green jacket over a shirt that proclaimed "Salute your shorts" and a pair of jeans that ended below her knees. She sat down in the middle of the floor and started un braiding her long, light brown hair. "So, who wants to start?", she asked. There was a few seconds of silence. Danya sighed. "All right. This all began last month, in preparation for the biggest anime convention to ever be held..."


	4. All will be explained

"This all began last year, in preparation for the biggest anime convention to ever be held. Every anime and magna was going to be available. Every writer, artist, producer, and voice actor you could possibly imagine was going to show up. But the cost of all this was enormous, and all the companies were afraid that the ticket and merchandise sales wouldn't be enough to cover it. We have no idea how they did it, but they somehow found a low-profile scientific organization to make some sort of computer to program characters out of any anime or magna and put them in the real world with physical bodies and everything. They also found a way to modify the programing so that the characters didn't come with any of their weapons, unnatural powers, strength, etc in order to insure that people wouldn't get hurt when they were brought over. This was a major breakthrough in science, and as you can guess, a lot of people made quite a fuss about it. But the companies were still cynical about the sales. So they paid the organization again in order to strengthen the obsessiveness of their customers. Within five weeks before the convention, they managed to create a virus that targeted the emotional area of the mind. The virus would feed onto that specific area, and then spread to surrounding areas, so that the infected person could concentrate on nothing but their current emotional state. So what the companies planned to do with this virus is release it on the people at the Con at the moment the characters were transported in order to boost their sales. But since it was created so quickly, they didn't have time to test it or check for flaws. When the virus was released, all hell broke loose. The virus intensified the con-goers emotions so much that they became unbelievably violent and aggressive in their desire to claim the characters from their favorite series. If anyone got in their way, they were ruthlessly attacked. Almost all the non-fangirls were killed. Some of the characters escaped, and the fan girls ran out of the Con to pursue them, spreading the virus. And that is what happened," Danya concluded. "So what happened to the four of you?" Cloud inquired. "Kayla and I got stuck in traffic," Jess said. "Me and Paige got stopped at security because I forgot to take my Swiss Army knife out of my wallet," Danya said."You mean _my_ Swiss Army knife," Kayla injected. "Oh yeah. Sorry about that." Danya pulled the knife out of her pocket and tossed it at Kayla. "So what you just said is that we are nothing more than figments of some artist's imagination brought to this world simply to please the fantasies of teenage girls in order to make money," Sephiroth commented. "On whole, yes. That's an excellent summary," Jess replied. "Well then, why did _we _arrive here after this Con?" Yuki inquired. "Danya said it was the gree-" Paige started to say, but fell silent as Danya got up and slowly approached her, ominously raising a large hard cover book above her head. "Eeeep, shutting up now," Paige squeaked. Danya sat down again and began reading the book. "Well, those two tried to fix the computer thing," Kayla explained, pointing to Paige and Danya. "But they repaired the wrong wire or something and that's why you're here. So now we need to find out how to re-program it to send you back." "Well, why don't you fix it then?" InuYasha demanded. Jess gave him a long cold look. "Oh, believe me. We don't want you to be here anymore than you do." "But why would the fan girls be after you?" Ed asked. "Since you're here, they see us as competition," Paige said. "So as long as you're here, I advise you not to go near the windows." 'Hold on, are you saying we're trapped here until you fix that damn thing?" Kyo demanded. "Yeah, pretty much," Kayla responded. "We set up a place upstairs for ya, so if there aren't anymore questions, we have some, uh, testing to do." Kayla, Paige, Jess, and Danya all walked out of the room and headed toward the garage. Everyone else moved upstairs to examine their new living space. Noone said anything as they selected the rooms they would be staying in. Cloud moved cautiously over to a window and peered down at the rabid crowd surrounding the house. He sighed and walked down the hallway to further investigate the house. But as he was walking, something strange caught the corner of his eye. He spun around, eyes widening in horror, unable to breathe. As he gazed at this terrible sight and let out a scream of fear and agony, a frustrated yell came from the fan girls outside: "HOMGZ, CLIFFHANGER!ONEONE!11 D : "


End file.
